My New Dating App! Introducing: Plum

September 16, 2018
My New Dating App! Introducing: Plum

Online dating was supposed to make finding love easier. Apps are marketed as methods for facilitating connections between users who'd never have otherwise met, maximizing your odds of meeting someone special. But in all my work with singles, I was starting to recognize how deep the frustration with these apps really ran; online dating has always been daters' #1 complaint. 

The "swiping apps," like Tinder or Bumble, built on the abundance of suitors and free-for-all matching create as many problems as they solve — possibly more. In my dating focus groups, I'd hear continual reports of harassment, flaking, ghosting, breadcrumbing, lack of effort, lack of initiative, dishonesty and disillusionment. Men and women alike were not happy. This got me thinking.

In the aftermath of The Love Gap, I started to focus my journalistic research and attention on the impacts of these apps; why it seems so hard to make a real connection, how we get around bad behavior and problems like the Paradox of Choice, how science shows there's no algorithm that can simply fashion a shortcut for finding a relationship built on mutual attraction, and how we might do it all better.

By summer, my plan was to join a dating app's team in a creative consulting role. After all, I'd spent months and months talking to singles about their dating lives, gathering tons of knowledge about their complaints, and coming up with strategies to help make the app-daing grind a little easier. As I was deciding which company to align with, the opportunity to join Plum found me. 

My co-founder, Dave, had been following my work and reached out to me about collaborating on a dating app he'd been developing for the better part of a year — in need of a creative strategist who knew the dating space inside out (ME!). Both of us dating app "veterans," we knew how hard it was to find a real connection out there. We also knew we could make the search vastly easier (and kinder) than it is today. We've been working on that ever since, and I'm excited to introduce daters to Plum. 

Plum creates a new kind of online dating experience, tackling key app-related complaints at their source. The technology is designed with the female experience in mind, while also rewarding men who are genuinely good catches. 

The app allows women to rate their connections in an uber-like fashion on essential non-physical, character-based components. With Plum, women are given a voice to incentivize men to bring their A-game (or penalize those who do not), while collaboratively helping to create a protective network for other women who will encounter these guys (both good and bad) later on. 

For the men, there are Plum incentives, as well. The higher their rating in comparison to other guys on the app, the more potential matches they will reach in our algorithm, improving their odds of connecting with someone great. Our message for men: Be kind, bring your “A” Game, and earn 5-star ratings. Classy guys will finish first on Plum. As our app develops and premium features become available, men will also earn free short-term subscriptions based on effort and high rating.

And there's SO MUCH MORE TO SAY about Plum's features and why we built the app the way we did, so stay tuned. I can't wait to have you try it.

On a personal note, I'll be stepping back from my journalistic duties a bit to focus on Plum's launch, strategy and development. But I couldn't be more excited to impact the dating space in an entirely new way. 

When it comes to modern dating, it's time to do better. I am confident you'll love Plum. Look for us in the App Store this fall, and follow us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram for updates as we take off.

xo.

The Love Gap is Online and In Stores Now! (+ Post-Pub Happenings)

March 05, 2018
The Love Gap is Online and In Stores Now! (+ Post-Pub Happenings)
Thanks to @kendalfedail for the Insta from LA on Galentine's Day!

I first sold the idea for The Love Gap in mid-2016. At that exact moment, I'd been working on the concept for about eight months. I was a hopelessly frustrated dater. And I knew the book was going to be my #1 priority for the next year and a half (it seemed eons away from release).

Now that the writing and publication has come to an end, I'm able to look back on it all and say with total certainty, "That was the best 18 months of my life." And it just keeps getting better. Living in the era of social media, it's been awesome to get an influx of emails, tweets, Instagram tags and Facebook messages from people who've been rocked by The Love Gap's message. I couldn't be more excited to see other people consuming this knowledge I've been organizing, streamlining and fine-tuning for more than two years.

Of course, my Love Gap journey is not entirely finished. In some ways, it's just starting! So, I want to leave you with a spattering of ways to keep in touch with me and keep following my advice for modern daters.

*I have a new expert blog on Psychology Today's site, will continue to write my dating and relationship advice column for Yahoo, and am still a regular contributor for Man Repeller

*I am officially kicking off coaching again, after a long book-related hiatus! Depending on your needs, you can hire me to help you date smarter, or break into freelance/magazine writing. 

*I'll still be covering a plethora of feature topics as a health and lifestyle journalist. For more of my work, or to keep in touch with me (and keep saying hi!), you can follow me on Twitter, Facebook or Instagram

*And for more on The Love Gap: A Radical Plan to Win in Life and Love, you can check out Hachette's landing page (which also features an excerpt). In addition, you can read more related press coverage like:
...with more to come. I'll post more updates as they become available — but in the meantime, feel free to reach out to me via email, tweet or Instagram if you have thoughts + feelings on The Love Gap or a question for my Yahoo advice column. Happy March!

xo.

THE LOVE GAP Is Out January 23! (+ My Favorite 2017 Stories)

January 03, 2018
THE LOVE GAP Is Out January 23! (+ My Favorite 2017 Stories)



First off, I'll start with the biggie: THE LOVE GAP: A RADICAL PLAN TO WIN IN LIFE AND LOVE will arrive on January 23, 2018! ***whoa*** I can't believe this two-year journey will finally come to a close, and I can't wait for women to read it. You can pre-order now.

I also wanted to start 2018 by sharing my favorite stories from 2017. Here are my top picks.

#1: A major reason I wrote The Love Gap

#2: Another major reason I wrote TLG (blame my male bestie; he knows who he is):
What If This Is the Reason Straight Dudes Won't Commit? via Man Repeller

#3: How I learned to save my sanity and preserve my peace of mind:
Why Is It So Hard for Women to Be Selfish? via Vogue

#4: Answering the most common question people ask me about relationships:

#5: Putting my ugly breakup into context as I started to write my book: 
Try Before You Buy via Psychology Today

#6: An ode to my friends (who are the best): 

#7: Cuz you don't gotta say a damn thing about your love:

#8: Cuz T-Swift's songs spoke to me all Nov/Dec: 

I'll be checking in again once the book has finally landed. But as we start 2018, thank you so much for your support. It means the world.

xo.

The Love Gap Galleys Have Arrived + More Updates

October 01, 2017
The Love Gap Galleys Have Arrived + More Updates


As I learned this week, meeting your book for the first time IRL is kinda like meeting that Bumble guy you've been talking to for a while. Things seeeeeem to be going well. Your schedules are fiiiinally lining up. But will it actually be everything you want it to be?

It's so great when the answer is, "Yes, and more."

On Wednesday, an unexpected box arrived in my apartment building's lobby. I popped the top, and behold! About 15 perfect pink galleys of The Love Gap. It is fairly mind-boggling to hold your (almost) finished book, looking all sparkly and new and fabulous. All of a sudden, that pub date in January feels a teensy bit real.

Can't wait that long? Neither can I! But at least there's pre-order if you want to get it very first. (Know I am forever grateful.)

Anyway, exciting TLG things going on, and I'm excited to get the book out there to you. But in the meantime, you can catch up on my writing in other ways. I've been scribbling a ton on Myers-Briggs (for the last two or three people who aren't aware I'm sorta into that). You can read those stories over at Teen Vogue, or see both my MBTI work and past relationship columns at Yahoo.

And for a fun sign-off, check out my personal connection to one of The Love Gap's key themes (how men deal with connection, timing, #LIFE) in this essay for Man Repeller.

xo.

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